Rules for living with your parents


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Preface: I love my stepchildren and my grandchildren. You are all guilty of some of this, but I love you anyway. That being said, understand that some of this is about you in particular, and I am picking on you. Hopefully it will make you stronger.

Part 1: know what's really going on here

You are living with your parents (me) in their house. We are not living with you, and the house is not yours. You are living here due to our kindness and generosity. DO NOT TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THIS.

The reason you are living here, is because you cannot live on your own, through whatever fault of yours or society, or the economy, etc. Keep that in mind every time you think that what's printed here is stupid or oppressive. You have the choice to accept this situation, or go live under a bridge somewhere with the other people who don't want to be oppressed.

The purpose for your existence in my house, is not to make yourself at home. You are here to save money, get a job, get out of debt, clean up your act, and do all those things you didn't want to do before, when you were living here and itching to leave. Anything you do that does not support these goals, or hinders them, will be met with derision and chastisement. Look those up in the dictionary, consider it part of your education.

Part 2: rules and stuff


I don't care that it's not your mess. It's not your house, and yet, here you are! Whatever pittance you put towards the expenses is just a TOKEN, and does NOT cover the cost of your living here. It certainly does not excuse you from cleaning.

2: Everything you do has an impact. Minimize your impact.

Speaking of costs, here are the costs of maid service, and rent. I'm not even going to get into the sewer, electricity, gas, and water bill. The initial cleaning of a 3 bedroom house, averages $300. Biweekly (every other week that is) maintenance averages $150 dollars. Renting a house runs between $1500 and $2000 for one comparable to mine.

"BUT I'm only using one room!" you cry. Well, sure you are. Don't ever sit on my couch, don't use the kitchen, don't go into my garage, and never ever use the porch, the lawn, or the driveway.

"But I help with housework, I've done projects." Thank you. I appreciate that. Yes, it would have cost money, and I would have had to have people over during the time it took to complete those tasks. How much of the housework needed to be done because you broke something? Or it just wore out with repeated use? You know, like the dishwasher, washing machine, refrigerator, and the lawn?

3: You , your stuff, and your friends are all 3 dimensional. Don't waste my space.

I shouldn't have to go into this. In fact, I shouldn't have had to go into any of this. BUT, here we are.

When you wake up in the morning in your bed, you are in my room. Oh, sure you're using it, but it's still my room. When you spill coffee or some other drink, it's my carpet. When you leave laundry on the couch, its my couch, where I want to sit. When the kitchen is covered in your dishes, (they're my dishes) it's my kitchen, that I can't use because it's filled with your mess. Pick up your mess, put things away, and don't leave your half empty drinks where someone will knock them over.

BUT I DIGRESS. This part is less about cleaning and more about STUFF.

Your stuff is what gets in the way of me using MY stuff. Your stuff is what takes up the space MY stuff is supposed to. When I can't put away my dishes, it's because you are taking up all the cupboard space with your dishes. The same goes with tools, leftovers in the fridge, and many other things.

The solution, is to NOT BRING STUFF INTO MY HOME. Do not buy the specialty plates, Don't get the wizzy bang tool, and especially, don't think you can replace my stuff with things you think "work better". They don't. They work better for YOU.

Finally, do not go out and buy more stuff. You are NOT here for the long run. Don't fool yourself. Buying tons of stuff "for when you move out" as well as to "use now" is not a good excuse. Spend your time here making money, not using it.

4: Don't try to make me live like you

Just to keep perspective here, I am living in my house. You are just visiting between your last bout of freedom and the next one. Respect my level of cleanliness, organization, and my need for peace and quiet. I may be cleaner or messier. I may have a completely different idea of how to get things done, and where to put things away. I may want to party all night, or I may want to keep the house quieter than a church.

I may not live at all like you, but while you are living in my home, you only have the option to live like me. If you don't like it, you can move --after you spend more time living like me and saving money.

If I move, you won't living with the next people who move in.